It
is a privilege to be here to pay tribute to my mother. She is probably
overwhelmed seeing how many of you are here today.
When
Dad and I met with Bishop Baker, he told us how his children were asking which
Primary Teacher had died. As he described her, they realized who it was, and
said, “Oh, the laughing teacher.”
That
is how many of us remember Mom. Friends have commented on her smile, her
laughter, and best of all, the love they felt from her. She spread happiness,
and many have remarked that she “always treated me like she loved me.”
Perhaps
the best tribute I read was “Being her friend was like being encircled in the
arms of the Savior’s love.” “She made life seem like a sweet, happy party and
each person feel like the guest of honor.”
A
good friend of mine pointed out that we, Mom’s posterity, are a living
breathing tribute to Mom, and he loves Mom because of what I became.
She
is survived by a loving, devoted husband, Ronald Dee Stevenson, a younger
brother, Robert Harvey Peart, by five children, 26 grandchildren and 17
great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her older brother Donald Aris
Peart, a grandson, Robert D. Stevenson, Jr., and a great-grandson, Andrew John
Love.
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Virginia
Ellen Stevenson came from pioneer stock. That probably doesn’t surprise anyone
who knows her. One grandmother was Swedish, the other grandparents were of
British descent. Her parents were both Salt Lake City natives, but came to
California on their honeymoon, ran out of money, and stayed. Mom was born in
San Leandro on 10 August 1936, the second of three children born to John Aris
Peart and Evelyn Gertrude Cox. In 1942, she and her family moved to Los
Angeles, where her father was working. By 1947, they had put down roots in Los
Angeles.
When
Mom started kindergarten, she said she cried every day on her way to school.
Soon her mother made her walk to school alone, and then the crying stopped.
This is hard to imagine in light of the Virginia Stevenson we all know.
Before
Mom started third grade, a mean girl told her that her new teacher, Mrs.
Darnell, wasn’t nice and would flunk her. Her mom consoled her, and mom soon
learned that Mrs. Darnell was a wonderful teacher who provided many
opportunities for her students to learn. They kept in contact with each other
for many years afterward.
Mom
couldn’t wait to be baptized, and wrote of how good it felt to be baptized a
member of the Church. Even at that early age, she was developing a strong faith
and testimony. For a time after that, her family wasn’t active in the Church,
but when she turned 12, a loving leader invited her to MIA, and she has been
active ever since. Her first calling came at age 13, as a helper in the
5-year-old Primary class.
At
age 14, Mom went on her first temple excursion. Four adults and six girls went
to the Mesa Arizona Temple to do baptisms. (You have to remember that for many
years, we were in the Mesa Temple District, until the Los Angeles Temple was
dedicated.) She writes “I had such a peaceful feeling as we went into the
[temple] and then sat and listened as one of the sister temple workers talked
about the important things of our church.” She added: “It helped me know my
goal of going to the Temple was what I really wanted.” How thankful we all are
that set this goal early on and remained true to it. She also had the
opportunity to serve in the Open House for the Los Angeles Temple prior to its
dedication.
Mom
worked hard to earn her various awards as she progressed in MIA. She sewed many
of her own dresses, and knitted things for her family as well. She babysat
frequently and worked at Karl’s 5 and 10. She balanced all of this with school
and family activities.
In
junior high, Mom began to be involved in student government. She was president
of a service club in junior high, and continued to be busy in high school
activities, including the Hostess Club, Student Senate, Girl’s League and other
activities.
She
writes that she was sometimes torn between her friends in student activities
and her friends in church.
Mom
began modern dance in tenth grade. She loved basketball, too, but dance was
better for her asthma. She was able to dance in many performances including
competitions at University of Redlands and other colleges.
Mom
was a good student, too, and won the Bank of America Achievement Award in
Business Education and in Vocational Arts.
In
1954, she left for BYU and quickly became involved in student government and
other activities. She took advantage of all the activities that life at BYU had
to offer, social and spiritual, and of course, educational. She formed many
lasting friendships there.
After
two years, she decided to come home and complete her studies at UCLA in order
to be with her family, but she said that had she known her brother Don would
get married so soon, she probably would have stayed at BYU, partly because she
was in line to become student body secretary.
However,
as luck (or fate) would have it, she became involved in Lambda Delta Sigma, and
this led to her meeting Dad. They were married in the Los Angeles Temple on 29
August 1958. She also graduated from UCLA in June 1958.
Dad
and Mom headed to Provo so Dad could finish his degree. Mom writes that she
found their first basement apartment dreary and disappointing, but after
unpacking their things and making cookies
and seeing where others lived, they were glad to be there. They came home for
summer break, so I was born in Inglewood instead of in Provo.
After
another year, Mom and Dad returned to California, living first in Downey, then
in the Baldwin Hills area, where we lived when Vicki, Bonnie and Mike were
born. During this time, Dad was called to serve in a Bishopric, and Mom served
as a Primary teacher. Mom loved her Primary girls. After Mike was born, she
wanted to get back to her class as soon as she could so they wouldn’t give it
to someone else. But when they knew she was coming back, she was called to
serve in the Primary Presidency.
Around
this time, Dad and Mom began preparations for a move to Huntington Beach. In
1965, they purchased the home where Mom lived until her death, for the
astronomical sum of $29,500. Actually, that was a lot of money in 1965, and
they felt that they had stretched themselves pretty thin. We moved in September
1965, and became one of the founding families in the Huntington Beach Second
Ward and the Huntington Beach Stake. Here also, Chrissy was born, to complete
our family until we started getting married.
(I
could talk about Primary in the “tin shack,” and sacrament meetings in the
Huntington Beach Recreation Center before this building was built, but this is
about Mom.) Her first callings here were also in the Primary: teaching, then in
the ward presidency, then in the Stake Primary Presidency. The rest, you know.
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I
would like to change focus now, from what Mom did, to who she was. I have found
that in studying the lives of others, we can learn many things about bettering
our own lives. As I review this, it is difficult to separate Mom from Dad. They
were an amazing example of unity and love. So much of what I will now say
applies to both. They were, and are, and will be forever, a team; an eternal
partnership.
There
are some characteristics Mom displayed that we can all emulate.
- LOVE: Mom was a great
example of selfless love. That is probably why many of you are here today.
a. There was never any question
that she loved Dad. When he came home from work, she greeted him as if he had
returned from months at sea. She also honored him in his role as priesthood
leader in our home. That was very clear to us.
b. There was never any question
that she loved us. That was apparent to all. She took pride in her children,
grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and in their accomplishments. She
repeatedly told us that we were good parents and that made her feel proud.
c. Mom loved us even when we
disappointed her. We tried not to do that very often, because I know I did not
like to see the hurt in her eyes. The funny thing is, as Mom grew older, I
became the perfect son. She said many times that I never gave her a bit of
trouble when I was growing up. (She also taught me not to argue with my
parents.)
d. We felt her love whenever we
were leaving to go home. In our family, an old tradition developed called the
“Peart goodbye.” There may have been a similar tradition in some of your
families. It seemed like it took forever to actually say goodbye to everyone
and get on the road. There was always one more hug and one more kiss. And even
as we drove away, Mom would blow kisses and give hugs until we were down the
street. I wish she would have indulged us in a Peart goodbye last weekend.
e. Mom was one of those people who
could make almost anyone feel like she was their best friend. That is a special
gift. It seems that she made everyone feel that they were family, whether they
were blood relatives or not.
- HIGH EXPECTATIONS: Her
love was manifest to us through these expectations she had for us.
a. Mom, as many mothers do, had a
vision of our potential. She knew what we could become and encouraged us to
discover the path to get there. I think this is because she was goal-driven
herself.
b. Each accomplishment, no matter
how small, was recognized. Whether it was a baby’s first steps or a scholastic
achievement, Mom would be excited. She would praise us, and often brag to
others as well.
c. She encouraged us to develop
our talents. Each of took piano lessons, and as children, we had no idea what a
blessing this would be to others. The same is true for my sisters’ skills in
homemaking and crafts, and other skills we learned as well.
d. We were expected to be married
in the temple and to get an education. Mike and I were expected to serve
missions. As a girl, she set goals to be married in the temple and to go to
BYU, and worked hard to achieve those and other goals.
e. She expected us to do well in
studies, in Scouting and in Mutual.
f. Half-hearted efforts were not
tolerated. I learned this as an eight-year-old. Dad had back problems, and I
started mowing the lawns. Mom made it clear that they had to be done just so. I
could not be sloppy or leave unmowed strips anywhere. Attention to detail was
important.
- TEACHING: A mother is
always teaching.
a. When I think of Mom, I always
think of the poem that ends: “Richer than I you can never be: For I had a
mother who read to me.” Mom taught us to read, and I recall many happy summer
hours reading with her.
b. Mom also told stories. We can
still recite the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff, of the little piggy who
wouldn’t jump over the stile, and the “Story of Jack Anorry.” And many others.
I’m sure the grandchildren know these stories, too.
c. We took regular trips together
to the library. During the summer, we went every week.
d. Mom taught us all basic
homemaking skills, and even some advanced ones. I remember learning how to make
white sauce. We learned how to set the table and how to clean house. We took
turns helping her do the dishes after Sunday dinner. I didn’t realize it then,
but it was an opportunity for her to visit with us as we worked.
e. Mom taught us to do needlework.
I learned to do cross-stitch when I was very young, and also learned some
embroidery. She didn’t realize it then, but she was teaching me a useful career
skill. Every time I place sutures in someone’s mouth, I think of Mom. In fact,
the sewing is so engrained in us, that when we were discussing which hymns to
sing today, Vicki suggested we sing “We Are Sewing.”
f. Mom also taught us the gospel.
She and Dad taught us together. We had our first family home evening when I was
about four, and we all continue the habit. She and Dad also taught by example.
When I was young, I remember going visiting teaching with Mom. In fact, we were
visiting a sister on our street the day Kennedy was shot (I was four), and I
can remember that sister’s upset that day. Mom and Dad took the gospel very
seriously.
- FUN: Teaching and learning
can also be fun, and Mom saw to that for us.
a. Mom frequently played games
with us. Sometimes she just refereed them.
b. We (and the grandchildren as
well) would frequently pull the couches apart and make blanket forts and have
adventures in the family room.
c. Mom enjoyed cooking with the
kids, even when the results weren’t optimal. I remember her excitement about
20-month-old Emily being able to crack eggs without getting the shells in the
dough.
d. Mom always had cookies or some
other treat around for us or for visitors. She enjoyed baking.
e. Mom had a good sense of
humor. She even laughed at my jokes. And
some of my jokes were old when she was young.
f. According to Scotty, the
happiest place on earth is not in Anaheim. He said it is “Grandma’s house!”
- INTUITION: Mom always knew
what was going on with us. We could not hide a thing.
a. It was an old Peart family joke
that we needed to buy Mom a “fur-lined cookie jar.” She could be upstairs in
her bathroom and still hear me getting a cookie, no matter how quiet I was. How
do moms do that? I know she inherited that skill from her mother, but still.
b. Both Mike and I became
seriously ill on our missions. Communication was difficult, and our Mission
Presidents were nearly silent, but Mom knew.
c. When I struggled in college,
Mom knew. Her radar was amazing. Of course, that was good motivation for me to
be a good boy.
- SERVICE: Of course, Mom
showed her love readily through serving others.
a. Mom lived to serve, and it
began at home. She made many sacrifices for us.
b. At times, it seemed that she
lived in the kitchen. She was always baking something or fixing a casserole for
someone. And of course there was some for us as well.
c. Mom loved doing for others.
Food, treats, sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, and on and on. One event
that touched me was when Mom, Vicki and Chrissy had a sewing marathon to make
missionary dresses and jumpers for Eliza before she left on her mission. I got
teary then, and still do, as I think about it. The torch has been passed.
- CHURCH ACTIVITY: Mom
showed her love through church activity, and this has several facets.
a. We all attended our meetings
together – happily. Now prior to 1980, that meant that we were continually
coming and going from one meeting to the next. Mutual was always on a
weeknight. Relief Society was a weekday meeting, as was Primary. Sunday
meetings were spread throughout the day. We did it all and had time for service
in between. And we did it with a smile.
b. Mom supported Dad in his church
callings. I don’t ever recall hearing her complain. Now I have to say, that
after reading her personal history, perhaps this was because she also had many
demanding callings and knew what he was up against. But the fact remains that
he felt her support every time he went to “one more meeting.”
c. Mom wasn’t afraid of the challenging
callings. She served in every class, in every calling in Primary, including
11-year-old Scout Leader, nursery, and Stake Primary leadership. She served in
the Young Women’s organization, as a Den Mother, in the ward Relief Society,
and as “Relief Society Queen,” the Stake Relief Society President. She learned
from her leaders, and she surrounded herself with strong leaders when she was
in charge.
d. Mom’s biggest concern with her
callings, apart from stepping out of her comfort zone, was the time she would
have to spend away from us. But as I look back, I don’t feel that we were
neglected. She still had time for us.
e. Mom enlisted our help in
fulfilling her callings. I served with her in her Scouting roles. We would help
with set up and with decorations and other projects.
f. She supported us in our church
callings and encouraged us to magnify our callings.
g. Along with Dad, Mom was
exemplary in temple attendance and family history efforts. They attended the
temple monthly when that meant making the long trek up the 405 to the LA
Temple. Frequently they performed ordinances for family members.
h. Mom loved her family, her
ancestors and their traditions. She loved to share her memories of various
ancestors and the things they did. I loved hearing their stories. Emily also
commented on this. What a privilege it is to feel that my ancestors are real
people and not just names on a chart. I will always appreciate mom’s and Dad’s
efforts to preserve that for their posterity.
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Mom
set a great example for each of us. Some things she didn’t do: she didn’t
overindulge us; she didn’t compare us to others; she didn’t unfairly criticize
us.
The
challenge for each of us as her posterity is to remember her example and to
carry on the traditions that she has established. In particular, we should
strive to love as she loves, and to serve as she serves.
We
honor her legacy as we continue to build on it. That is no small order. I can
see it in the lives of my siblings even now.
I
know with all my heart and soul that Mom is only separated from us by a thin
veil. She is aware of our sorrows at her departure. But be assured that this is
only temporary. We will see her again. At her father’s funeral, it was said
that he had gone on ahead to help build our mansions in heaven. Mom is there to
help decorate them.
I
pray that we will live our lives so that we can be reunited with her in
eternal joy and happiness in the kingdom of our Heavenly Father.
In
the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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